The 1993 Penny

Since  that awful morning when she fell onto the concrete, one unyielding metal cane between her legs in such a fashion that it was tantamount to a severe caning on both of her brittle legs... she never had recovered her mobility and her disability before that day now appeared a laughable exaggeration compared to the hell she now inhabited.

No longer able to move freely from room to room nor even to use her own bath because of its high walls, her bathroom had become a place where she cleaned the items she brought with great difficulty from the old house.  During the period when Winston still helped her, she sometimes was able to get a lift home from him, unbeknownst to George who was almost pathological about his unwillingness to have any of her possessions in HIS house.  This was the period when she brought sundry unrelated items in carrier bags and often the first stop was her bathroom, where she investigated each for the ubiquitous moths that had destroyed so much of her life.

When George later claimed that Winston had stolen a jar of pennies from him, she was puzzled by the alleged act, as Winston had had ample opportunities to steal items far more valuable from her and never had done so, somewhat to her surprise.  She finally realised it simply was another way to weaken her, deprive her of any source of aid so that George could continue to complain that the old house was filled with her stuff without giving her any way out of the mess.

Meanwhile, she had at least a year's worth of work in carrier bags, rock crystal rosariies jumbled together with children's books, antique doll shoes (more often or not an odd shoe rather than a pair), various silk ribbons and bits of cloth as well as the occasional valuable silver coin.

It was then that she began to sit on the toilet, with the lid down, in order to sort through these items and clean or polish the metal.  Much had been damaged by water leaks at the old house.  The 1993 British penny, when she found it, was almost black.  It definitely was a victim of water damage and damp and so she decided to polish it having the means for doing so at hand after rehabilitating a German automatic knife.

While she was engaged in the simple act of polishing the little penny, it leapt suddenly from her hands.  Had it been any other coin, even a silver coin, it would not have mattered so much to her, but 1993 was possibly the most significant year of her life as it was the year when her daughter was born. She therefore tended to collect every item she could find from that year and obviously, it was the reason she had that particular penny.

When these little contretemps occurred, and for some reason they did so more frequently than ever now that she was ill-equipped to recover any item that fell to the floor, she usually would try to pick up the object immediately if possible.  The problem here was that the penny had disappeared completely from the face of the earth.

She searched every corner of the floor, behind the toilet as well as the area beneath the cabinets.  She even searched the tub, although she had thought the penny had gone in the opposite direction.  She moved all the bits of furniture that inhabited the room, mute testament to her struggle to keep the tub usable... a revolving stool, a moveable step and so on, all proven useless in the end.

The penny had been swallowed by the aether, apparently.  She could not find it, in search after search through the months.

Now, sweeping the floor of the bathroom again, she realised that finding the penny would be far more significant an event than it would have been originally.  It might even have some prophetic meaning attached to it, harbinger of her own death perhaps.  Not yet quite.  She still hoped to find it but she could foresee a day when she almost would come to DREAD the discovery, when its long absence would become a symbol of something dire, the end of an era, a slamming of a door.

Making Sense from Nonsense

A very trivial incident, but it has such enormous repercussions both now and throughout history. Have you ever read something quickly, so quickly that you misread a word and then instantly made sense from it in some hypothetical scenario sparked by your fertile imagination?  The same can happen when you mishear a word, either a lyric in a song or in a conversation with some one.

This morning, I happened to see a slogan on the soy milk carton that read: 'Three Cheeses for the Plant!''  I immediately thought, 'Oh, they are using soy milk to make cheese and there are recipes for three cheese pasta evidently.'

Well, the word was NOT Cheeses.  It was Cheers and simply was declaring the traditional three Cheers for the milk made from plants... Ah well... My reading was more intriguing.

Through the years, so many songs acquired my own peculiar lyrics because the singer was not clear in his/her rendition of the words.  Sometimes I could not make sense of it, but often it resulted in a significance quite unintended by the writer.

After this little incident, I began to think about history and books and especially those hefty tomes considered the 'word of God'.  Often these were found in a very poor condition.  The misreading of a single letter could result in entirely different words from the ones written originally and yet there are those literalists and fundamentalists who never even will consider that some one could have been wrong!

Really on a roll today... just saw a bit of news on the internet:  Atlantis Pride, Festival celebrating LOST community continues on Sunday.

How much more interesting than the real headline: Atlanta Pride, Festival celebrating LGBT Community continues on Sunday...

The Mysteries of TouchFreeze and Leaping Cursors

Fifteen years into a new century and the miracles of technology only make my life more stressful and difficult.  In the old days, computers really were our servants and we basically could dictate our wishes to them.  They had to learn our language essentially in order to work with us.

Now, however, the reverse is true, making our culture more like Philip K. Dick's nightmarish predictions than ever.  As each new version of Windows is released, each new 'revolutionary' app or platform, our existing servants are forced to retire and we have to update or upgrade to the new race of minions.

What this means, unfortunately, is that we have less and less control over our technological devices unless we are software experts.  The marketing extols the beauty of devices that need no direction, that can intuit our wishes and desires, but what that really signifies is that we have no privacy and very little control.

My sessions with my laptop tend to be an ongoing battle where the device attempts to control my typing, my browsing, my choices...  meanwhile, my old laptop almost cannot reach any site now because it is so slow and outdated.  Microsoft is making certain of THAT.  After all, if the old machines remain reliable and efficient, what need for the newest models?

Finally, after almost being driven to suicide by a laptop that would hang suspended in the net for almost half an hour without ever reaching the destination I had given it, or documents that would take almost half an hour to save, I found a new cheap laptop/tablet.   It is an Asus and cost less than any others of its race.  Advertised as a laptop/tablet, it really is NOT that in practical terms because it is not an 'android device', despite flawed information from so-called experts at both Best Buy and Amazon who assured me that it was.

In other words, it will not support apps that are designed for android devices such as Family Farm Seaside.  Being a Microsoft product, it tries to put everything into the context of the XBox.  I do not have an XBox and I doubt I ever will.  This makes the built-in Music and Games Applications on the Asus utterly useless to me.

It is not as lightweight as one would wish, but it is small and you can remove the screen to create a tablet sort of device that is half the weight of the whole sandwich of monitor and keyboard.  When the two are separated, the keyboard appears onscreen and is touch-controlled.

I have had it for about a fortnight now.  It took me forever simply to suss out how to use it, to awaken it, put it to sleep, find my stuff and so on.  My biggest problem, however, was a leaping, dancing cursor that made it impossible for me to do any writing, even a simple sentence in Wordpad.  Whenever I tried to type, the cursor would jump to the top of the page, to an arbitrary point in the centre of a word in an earlier paragraph or somewhere equally absurd.  What was worse sometimes was its horrible ability to highlight and then erase everything in a single tap of a key when I thought I was WRITING, not DELETING.

It finally occurred to me to enter the problem in a Google Search.  I discovered that an enormous number of individuals have the same problem  with THEIR laptops and it is not exclusive by any means to Asus. Dell, HP, Sony even... the laptops can be inexpensive or luxury models and the leaping cursor can affect them equally.

It is kind of outrageous actually that Microsoft would concentrate on ever new Windows systems and yet allow something like this to bedevil us. The solution I found in message boards was created by some independent person and is called TouchFreeze.  It is an old programme actually from 2012.  It has been archived, whatever that means, but I still was able to install it.  What it does is disable the Touchpad supposedly while one is using the keyboard.  You would think that would be built into the laptop, wouldn't you???

So far, it appears to be working about 90% of the time.  As long as I type quickly without pauses, I appear to be able to complete a sentence now!

Here is a link to a Google code site without any adverts:
TouchFreeze

Some users have complained that they have to reinstall it every few months and others that it does not always load automatically every day.  Frankly though, it is worth the effort, even if it does not give 100% satisfaction.  Once again though, why is Microsoft not making this standard for Windows???\

Later: I am finding that it does not always work.  For some reason, when my laptop resets in any way, TouchFreeze no longer appears to do the job.  I tried another 'fix' recommended, which was to change the option NOT to 'hide pointer when typing'.  In other words, untick that box in your Pointer or Mouse settings.  It is rather difficult to find my Settings on this little Asus but I finally managed it. Perhaps the combination will give me some relief from that awful leaping pointer/cursor.

85th Anniversary of Merrythought

As a child, I gravitated more towards dolls than bears.  i did not have a bear, in fact, as a baby.  instead, both my sister and I had plush elephants.  Mine rather unoriginally was named 'Ba' and Vicki's was named 'Ba-ba'.  We obviously were VERY young when we were given these animal friends.

I never will forget the day when my mother chucked away my beloved Ba.  I actually was about 10 when this happened, but it still was traumantic and if I had been in her place, it would not have occurred.  He was one of those old-fashioned bears stuffed with sawdust and evidently the stuffing had become infested with some sort of small undesirable insect.  I fought for his salvation tooth and nail but to no avail.  If I had been the mother, I would have made a small opening in one of the seams and removed the offending stuffing, but M simply tossed him.  No such tragic end ever was destined for Vicki's bear.  I believe my Mum still has him.

Anyway, Ba, who at that point had only one eye, but again, could have been fitted up with another, disappeared from my life and still is mourned....  No one really took his place in the plush animal department, apart from my Eeyore, whom I adored, but who was kind of stiff and unapproachable, not the sort to be taken to bed...

It was much later, when I worked for a local doll shop, that I decided I fell head over heels in love with Merrythought bears.  They were part of my psyche or 'collective unconscious' or whatever.  I had seen them at Harrods in London and other upscale shops, but I did not have any.

At this point, I did not much like bears that were made in fantasy colours.  I opted instead for a lovely grey bear, even though grey technically is not really a 'bear' colour' and then my darling, miniature Magnet bear.  Later, when I had my own little business, I had a Merrythought account and was able to order the bears that attracted me most.  By then, I had expanded my taste to include fantasy colours, and one of my dearest friends now is gorgeous lavender bear.  You will see him in one of the photographs.

As this autumn marks the 85th Anniversary of this wonderful British firm, I thought it would be appropriate to include a little post about Merrythought on my site.  If you are looking for a 'forever friend' for one of your own children, grandchildren or yourself, you could not do better than to buy a Merrythought.  British-made, indeed, made with great care and love of the very best materials, they are a part of history as well as an art form that I hope will endure another century.

The photographs shown below are of Merrythoughts from my own little collection.  The first is of a Classic Merrythought, a largish fellow who comes in many different colours.  All my Merrythoughts, apart from an enormous vintage cat from the 1960s who was created as part of a group of animals intended to house jam-jams (pajamas), are made of mohair.

The second photograph includes a very special Wedding Bear made to celebrate the ultimately rather ill-fated nuptials between Charles and Di.  The one on the far left is a reproduction of a very old and famous Merrythought and he wears a tiny Merrythought change purse round his neck (my own addition).  On the far right is possibly my favourite bear in my favourite colour which is lavender.  He vies for 'favourite' actually with the tiny Merrythought shown in the third photograph, a reproduction of the 'Magnet' bear, I seem to recall.  Somewhere I do have a book on Merrythought.  Need to find it and add more information to this post, because Merrythought deserves international recognition, although, outside the Commonwealth, they are not as famous as their German counterpart, Steiff.

Lord Shiva and the Goddess Kali

For whatever reason, the only Hindu gods that ever appealed to me personally, and on some very profound level, whether or not I comprehended why, were Lord Shiva and Durga, a form of Kali, the Great Goddess.   The image that I recalled first and the one that continues to stay with me, is that of the Goddess Kali dancing upon the body of her Lord, Shiva.  In fact, when I was attempting sculpture as an art form, I made a sculpture of Kali with Lord Shiva prone beneath her, utterly submissive while she brandished her weapons and skulls.

I know that many people are attracted to Krishna but to me, he was too much of an unprincipled rake and libertine, off dancing with the gopis endlessly.  Shiva on the other hand, was so devastated by the suicide of his first wife that he retreated to the Himalayas and could not be roused until he was persuaded that she would return in another form. 

In a sense, Shiva is closest to Attis, Adonis and even Christ in that he was willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of the universe by drinking the poison that threatened all with total extinction.  That is why his throat is blue.  Although he could not die, being immortal, he was in utter agony until the Mother Goddess, his spouse, gave him her milk to drink.  This brings us to the eternal mystery of the Great Goddess with her Consort who is her Son as well, as Shiva became a child in order to suckle at her breast.

There is an old Greek rite wherein grown men crawled through the legs of a woman and then nursed at her breast.  I believe it was a rite of adoption but it mirrors a far more ancient mystery wherein the spouse temporarily acknowledges that he is the child/son of the Great Mother.

Both Shiva and Kali are portrayed in the act of the Divine Dance of Life, Death and Rebirth.  Portrayals of Shiva are far more common than those of the Goddess in this form.   I suppose one of the reasons I like these two so much is that, like the Goddess Freya, they embrace both Love and Death, are great Warriors and yet are associated with Love as well.  Freya in her own guise never is portrayed as a Mother or Wife, but Frigga definitely is and it is thought that both are one and the same ultimately.

Kali is depicted often as the Terrible One with tongue hanging out, filled with an insatiable thirst for blood, much like the old Canaanite goddess.  And yet, this thirst was summoned by the Gods in order to save the world and she ultimately is calmed by her spouse, because he steps into her path and when she begins to dance upon him to annihilate him, she recognises him as her Love and desists. 

A thought just occurred to me.  Perhaps this dance or trampling is related to the method by which the grapes are pressed into wine.  Certainly many of the mystery religions (of which I consider devotion to Shiva and Kali one) are involved with the mystery of intoxicants, whether wine or soma and the 'dance', albeit an action with far greater significance than simple wine-pressing may have been associated with that and with the agricultural actions that transform grain into bread.

The old Canaanite myth of Mot, Lord of Death, includes a description of his death and transformation by the Great Goddess who 'winnows' him and performs all the other acts associated with the harvest of grain. 

One can perceive therefore, two very distinct acts of Sacrifice by Lord Shiva.  The first is the act of draining the sea of the poison that appeared WITH the elixir of Immortality and threatened the entire universe.  The second is his Sacrifice at the hends of his consort and mother, the Great Goddess Kali.

It is interesting to note here that we have two very different forms of the Eternal Sacrifice.  One is the transformation of the Sacrifice in the form of Grain or Grape and the other is the Sacrifice by hanging.  There is a Sacrificial Pole in Hindu tradition but I have not found any associations with Lord Shiva yet.  His association with Death, like that of Kali, is the cremation grounds.

To know whether Kail is in her benign aspect or her terrible one can be as simple as paying attention to the foot that is raised and the hand that brandishes the curved sword.  If her left foot is raised and the sword is in her right hand, she is the Terrible Mother of the cremation ground.  If, however, her right foot is raised and she holds the curved sword in her left hand, she is the Bountiful and all-nurturing Mother.  As a woman who is left-handed, I find this personally interesting...

Despite the fact or perhaps because of the fact that I spend part of my childhood in Nepal, and was personally acquainted with many aspects of Hindu worship and festivals, I tended to steer clear of anything that reminded me of that religion until recently.  I definitely was very conscious of the raw power that inhabited the temples and the power in the bloodletting rites.  There was great beauty and joy in the festivals as well.  I miss those garlands of fresh flowers and the music that pervaded the atmosphere during any festival. 

One of the reasons I kept my distance from all this after returning to the West is because I did not LIKE the massive pilgrimage of Westerners to India and Nepal to gain 'wisdom'.  I felt that wisdom could be found in our own heritage and when people treated me like some sort of enlightened guru (at the tender age of 13) upon my return from Nepal, I was disgusted by it all.  Coincidentally, it was the same time that the Beatles visited India to soak up the culture and music and 'wisdom' of the East.  Sadly, it turned me off and I slammed the door basically on everything associated with Nepal. 

Looking back, I probably would have done well at the London School of Oriental and African Studies and I would have enjoyed the immersion in ancient Nepalese culture if I had not become so conflicted emotionally.  I was a child and there was no one to help me disentangle the threads of hurt and betrayal from everything positive and golden about Nepal.

The Importance of Being H.P. (not the company!)

When one is disabled, one is iin a position where often one must seek help in odd places.  It was my Mother who asked a neighbour of ours, nicknamed H.P., if he would be willing to help me.  To my horror (I admit), I hobbled back to the car to find her chatting like a house on fire with him and proclaiming him to be 'an answer to your prayers'.  Well, far be it from me to judge a person solely on his/her past, but two felony convictions and prison sentences as well as a confession from him that he had been a crack addict for years, had made me a little wary...  Nonetheless, beggars and cripples cannot be choosers and I decided to give him a chance.

Thus began a most bizarre year of working with H.P.... and a situation reminiscent of the famous Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer film, 'Gaslight'.

H.P. repeatedly extolled the potential benefits of giving him keys to the mansion (well, dilapidated row home actually) but I had enough sense at least to keep that at bay.  He did have the combination to the lock for the back porch where many of my books and Freya's old toys still remained, some of them damaged by the water leak but others still intact.  Whenever he brought up the key subject, I would remind him gently that he HAD access to the back porch and yet had made no progress placing my books in boxes even though I had told him he would be paid to do it.  So what would be the point of having keys to OTHER rooms as well?

In any event, in a year, H.P. broke a number of lamps, bent and crushed pieces of silver jewelry and otherwise created more damage in certain instances than had existed, but at the same time, could be a tremendous help as well.  He helped me find a number of treasures, often in places where I could have sworn I never would have placed them.  He would hand me objects periodically with a sort of mystical air... a sapphire and gold ring which he claimed he had found on his shoe of all places, a bag of doll jewelry, which he claimed had fallen out of a bag of mine and so on and so forth...

I puzzled over these 'finds' a little, deciding finally that he was playing some sort of arcane mind-game, either to prove how much he could be trusted, show me how much power he had over my belongings or finally, to drive me completely insane as Charles Boyer had attempted in 'Gaslight'.

Then came the instances of arriving at the house to find a door unlocked, when I knew that the door had been locked and bolted before I had left previously.  The first time it was the sliding door in the kitchen.  I myself had locked it and placed the wooden stick in the little track on which it slid, so I knew it had been locked the last time I had left the house.

At first I blamed J., because he is careless with locks, and even left doors unlocked at the new house, but he swore repeatedly he had not been to the old house for months.  I tortured myself with anxiety and doubt but finally let it go as it appeared nothing had been taken.

Then came the day when the front door was left unlocked.  Again, I was well aware of having locked and bolted it properly upon my departure.  This was when H.P. told me that, 'if any one wants to get into a house, a lock won't stop him.'  And then claimed that the lock was faulty.  I happened to know it was NOT weak because some one had fixed it to make certain that it could not pop open after the key had been turned.

Again, though, I finally had to simply count myself fortunate that nothing had been taken, or at least nothing I could see.  H.P. told me that there was so much random stuff that a burgler would not know where to look and moreover, probably would initiate an avalanche of boxes so that when we arrived to work there again, we would find a corpse submerged by dolls and other objets du virtu.  I laughed, a trifle uneasily and the work went on...

Now we come to the point where I found MY bedroom door unlocked.  This always was the weakest link in the house.  My door opened into the back porch, where H.P. did have access.  In fact, I have to admit that when I locked myself out of the house a few times over the years, I broke back into the house by inserting a knife in the space between the door and the lock mechanism and quite easily opened it.  The fact that the person who did this now would LEAVE it unlocked though was a bit perplexing.

... until recently, when J. discovered that an enormous glass bottle filled with coins had disappeared from the back of his wardrobe upstairs.  He claimed that they were worth quite a bit, about two hundred dollars...  Even though he is prone to exaggerate any losses he incurs, it probably was at least one hundred dollars and the entire bottle was gone, having vanished from the premises like a jinn in a puff of smoke.

He discovered the loss a couple of days ago.  At this point in time, H.P. allegedly had a job and no longer offered to work with me.  At the same time that J. discovered his losses, I found a number of items for which I had been searching.  They definitely were NOT where I had left them, however. 

What goes through H.P.'s mind?  Did he simply move things that belonged to me without tampering with them otherwise or did he actually take them and then bring them back only if and when I mentioned them to him?  It's disturbing and the fact that I still am searching for some valuables makes me wonder what the future holds.

I have weird visions of him in the house at night especially, wandeirng about, opening tins, opening wardrobes, searching through things randomly, exploring in a bizarre journey of discovery for which he alone knows the reasons.  I used to think he found things for me to be a sort of hero... for the gratitude and so on.  Now I wonder.  He is a complicated individual with a very chequered past.  I needed his help and he did help me.  Without his help now, I wonder how I will cope with the old house.  It is all very vexing and actually upsetting.  J. keeps threatening to sell the house, to 'clear it out' summarily.  I am incapable physically of moving the heavy boxes and furniture that needs to be moved in order to retrieve items that are behind them.

Ravana, Hero, Villain, God or Demon...

Hymn to Lord Shiva composed by Ravana
Who is Ravana?  His image is burned throughout the Hindu world on the 10th day of Dashain and yet, in some places, he is revered as a real hero and even considered a god by some.

I had not thought to become so involved in Ravana's history or identity except that I have a Nepalese Sukunda lamp that, instead of sporting an image of Ganesh, has that of the ten-headed Ravana.  The more I delved into the various tales of Ravana and practices regarding this enigmatic character, the more the lamp made sense.

After all, in the places that revere Ravana rather than reviling him, he is given puja on the occasion of marriages.  He is considered a patron of wealth and fertility.  And the Sukunda lamp is brought out on the occasion of any marriage in Newar society, to lead the marriage procession.

I found a story about a man in a Nepalese village who has worshipped Ravana for almost 40 years.  An actor, he became increasingly devoted to Ravana as he played the part in seasonal dramas.

Whether or not you consider him god or demon or something between the two, his extraordinary talent and creativity as well as knowledge is well-attested.  He was devoted to Lord Shiva and composed a very beautiful hymn to the god.  His primary 'crime' was the famous abduction of Sita, wife of Ram and yet, in a year with Ravana, he never molested her once.  It was her own husband Ram who taunted her and tested her fidelity, not her 'abductor'.

Rama or Ram was one of Vishnu's avatars.  Historically, I believe that there was emnity between the 'primary' Hindu gods, Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva.  Shiva is much maligned on occasion because he is different from the others mainly in his ascetic habits and unkempt appearance as well as his fondness for the cremation grounds.  The father of Shiva's first wife objected to him and reviled him to the point where she immolated herself in order to protest against his lack of respect towards her husband, Shiva.

Vishnu appears in many myths as a character who is quite willing to use manipulation and outright duplicity to gain his goal or supremacy for the devas against the asuras.  In truth, when I read all the tales of the wars between asuras and devas, it reminds me of the original hostility between the Aesir and the Vanir.  Both were gods but from different traditions and heritages.  I expect that the asuras originally were gods as well.  There are far too many tales where an asura has all the powers of a god, or is bestowed by a god with a divine boon or power.

So here we have another devotee of Shiva, NOT Vishnu,  in the form of Ravana.  He was highly educated, a good ruler, generous, learned, just and very religious.  Yet, he becomes the very symbol of evil in Hindu festival traditions, burned in effigy each year throughout the lands where Hindus celebrate.   I think perhaps that the origins of this could be found in his devotion to Shiva, against the prevailing dominant worship of Vishnu.  Shiva is a god who operates a bit outside the ordinary rules of society and civilisation, although he is praised as a husband and father, at the same time, he is known for his ascetic role.  The ascetic completely renounces the world and its desires.

Shiva Mantra

The photograph below shows Ravana in all his glory as an armed warrior rather than dispenser of prosperity and wealth.  The figure on my Sukunda lamp shows Ravana as the bestower not only of wealth, prosperity and fertility but the one within whose belly is to be found the Elixir of Immortality, the Amrita.  The biggest difference between the portrayal of Ravana below and those normally burned in effigy is the fact that this one is worshipped and honoured as a great hero and honourable warrior.

Death, Rust and Somewhere 'Safe'

One of the great delights that is left to me is the discovery of something valued that had been 'lost' and now is regained.  Unfortunately, I experience far too many of these reunions, mainly because of an unfortunate practice of concealing the objects I value most in very unlikely places.  My daughter grew to dread the announcement that, when she asked for the location of something she needed, she would be told that: 'I put it somewhere safe.'  Inevitably, that would mean that an extended exhausting and osmetimes fruitless search had to be made.

People who have lived in the same place all their lives and who have a proper safe probably would not comprehend the entire philosophy.  I lived all over the world, in rented rooms, in flats in big cities with high crime statistics, and sometimes with flatmates who could not be trusted, whether or not I had romantic relationsihips with them or not.   Thus, the whole concept of finding 'somewhere safe' for the things I did not wish to have stolen for me.  Regrettably, the result sometimes has been the same when I have failed to FIND something I loved and treasured. 

In any case, I found this knife yesterday.  I had been looking for it for a very long time.  It had not been put 'somewhere safe' actually but had been in a handbag of mine for years.  When I switched to a different handbag, the knife somehow was left behind in the discarded one.

It was a gift from a client and friend from the years when I lived in New York.  I always felt that there was something very special about a guy who could give a sharp, edged weapon to a woman as a gift.  I now realise that this is no measure of a man's worth or integrity at all or even his ability to be a good friend or lover, but nonetheless, I still would melt inside I expect if some one tendered another dagger to me.

This particular one is not really my favoured style, although it is made of Damascus steel.  I was not that fond of folders, and my knife of preference was double-edged.  This one, though, was very practical through the years and I loved the fact that it had a straight razor as well as a regular blade.  It was a very good little knife that served me well...  sad to have lost it and very pleased to have found it.

Sad to say, I do not have the box in which it came at this point.   It was a collector's piece originally, during the period when knife collecting had become fashionable and every one and his mate was making Limited Editions.  I think this one was made by Browning.  Originally, I did not care much for the bolsters but like an old friend, I grew to love everything about the little knife in time.  It really was a perfect fit for my hand and my handbag and I had occasion to use both blades.   Once in a blue moon, I spare a thought for the giver...

There still are a number of 'lost' treasures knocking about somewhere at the old house.  I hope to God I can find them... it's kind of a race with Time at this point.

This poor knife was lost long enough to develop some rust spots.  I ruthlessly excised them this morning.  I decided it would be better to have a slightly imperfect knife than one with rust consuming it.  I hope I have destroyed the Destroyer in time.  There is a tiny nick now in the edge of the blade where i had to sand off a lot of rust.

Newar Microcosm, the Beautiful Lake Manifest

It is not age but pain that is killing me, destroying a memory that once was fairly good, enabling me to memorise over 400 cases, complete with various obiter dicta of presiding judges as well as the bare facts, names  and so on...  In any case, I know that some one once declared that Beauty and Terror are the stuff of which real gods are made.  Perhaps I can find the quote on the internet or perhaps it was something told me in a dream.  I do believe it is a good description of the Divine.

When I first saw photographs of this Sukunda lamp, I instantly felt it was an object of great power, reaching through the illusion of recorded image to seize me by the throat and inspire sheer terror in me as well as recognition of the beauty of the work itself.

It was this Sukunda lamp that showed me how one single object can be a book embracing an entire religion.  Symbols as potent and definitive as those carved on rocks by paleolithic humankind... they are Truth in code form and there often are different layers of significance.

Sadly, I think much of the meaning has been lost through the centuries.  Artists and craftsman place these symbols on spiritual and profane objects with only a small knowledge of the significance of each.  It is the same in the West where Christianity once was enshrined in the carvings on Cathedral walls and doors as in the written books few ever touched or understood.  Symbol is eternal and universal.  Words are so much less.  They are tools with which to conjure, to create little tales, inspire emotions and sway the masses or the enlightened variously but at the end of the day, they are chimerae.  Symbols are Eternal.

We start with the elemental Powers: Fire, Earth, Water and Air.  Some include Spirit in the list.  Others consider that something very different.  Magicians and witches create a circle of Power using these Elements...  the Sukunda Lamp, I believe, does much the same because it actually involves the Elements in its rituals whether in actual form or in symbol.

This particular Sukunda lamp was USED by the family that owned it, not occasionally as many are, but regularly.  The black residue left by the mustard oil burned in it is everywhere, not merely in the bowl where it was burned.

The bowl is the symbol of Water, the 'Beautiful Lake' from which these Lamps derived their name.  Within the bowl often, as here, is the symbol of the Lotus, believed to be in the very centre of the Lake.   Fill the bowl with oil or butter and light the flame and you have the sacred flame burning in the centre of the Sacred Lake.

The Naga serpents rise above the bowl, offering their protection.  I believe they originally represented a coelacanth or something of that nature, much like the Loch Ness monster who still is said to inhabit the depths of the loch in Scotland.  They were water snakes but not ordinary snakes.  They were considered magical... much like the dinosaurs who mutated in the minds of ancient humans to become the Unicorn and the Griffith of myth.   The Garuda, upon the wings of which the Gods travel and who is as well the sacred messenger of the gods, sits above the bowl.

The handle of this Sukunda is both serpent and dragon.  You can see the head of the dragon at the very base of the lamp.  The serpent skin rises to meet the seven serpents or seven-headed naga serpents that create their graceful parasol above.

This is no ordinary Sukunda though, containing only the basic symbols found in most lamps of its kind.  It has so much to offer.  Below the bowl is a pair of tantric lovers.  Surrounding the vessel is a necklace of grinning skulls, symbol of Kali and Shiva both.  Then there is the curious multi-headed figure dominating the entire lamp who appears to have two phalli.  In the original photographs I saw, I thought it might represent the family who had the lamp made but a closer view made it evident that it represented one of the gods.  This one has ten heads, making it possible that it is Rawan or Ravana, depicted with 10 heads, each one representing a branch of spiritual knowledge and moreover, said to have the nectar of immortality stored in his belly.  The god shown on this Sukunda has a prominent stomach and perhaps the two phalli represent spigots.  Hard to tell...  although I have many books on HIndu myth, it is difficult sometimes to find definitive details about the gods and their iconography.

Another beautiful aspect of this Sukunda is the bird perched on the top of the handle.  I do believe it must be a peacock rather than a vulture.  Instead of the two lions often shown on either side of the bowl, there are two creatures resembling goats or sheep carrying stupas it appears.  I have included photographs of all these details.  My hope is that some one will read this one day and respond.

As I clean items such as these painstakingly and slowly, the act of cleaning becomes a meditation.  As I wrote at the start, this Sukunda lamp terrified me from the outset.  I had vivid dreams after seeing photographs.  They were not entirely positive but were filled with power.  I did believe it was important at this point in my life to conquer my childhood fears of the Hindu and Buddhist icons that I encountered in Nepal.  This Sukunda lamp is by far the most powerful object I have encountered. 

THe grinning skulls that encircle it caught my attention at once.  I am not a person who dotes upon skulls.  I know many people love the Day of the Dead and the skulls made from pastries and sweets that are popular in Mexico.  Some people love skulls because of their association with the 'skull and crossbones' of pirates.  I do have a very small crystal skull somewhere.  I gave one to Freya as well when she was involved with 'Pirates of the Caribbean' as a child.  She wore it as a pendant for awhile but I kept mine locked away in a box.

Now the Sukunda with at least three dozen grinning death'sheads is before me, visible from my bed.  When I light it, the skulls glimmer, their eye sockets black with the residue from earlier offerings of mustard oil.  Many of the aspects of this lamp deal with mortality and death.  THe other side of this coin of course is immortality and rebirth.

The Devil and his Pitchfork

It is well-known that the Demons of today were the Gods of yesteryear.  When a new religion conquers a civilisation, one of two results usually occurs.  Either the old Gods intermarry or otherwise are incorporated into the pantheon of the new or they are transformed into the eternal enemies of the new Gods.  In the case of Christianity, Lucifer, Star of the Morning, the equivalent of Inanna, who was both Morning and Evening Star, Venus, became the Arch-Demon who forever would be at odds with the Virgin Mary and her Son.

The declaration of eternal emnity was made by a Christian writer who probably was under the influence of hallucinagenic drugs at the time.  The Book of Revelation is one that can be translated or interpreted in a thousand different ways and has been...Not that there is anything wrong with prophecies delivered under the influence.  The Oracle of Delphi did it, as did many other High Priests and Priestesses throughout the world.

On the other hand, why do we accept this vision of Satan as a red being with a tail and three-pronged Pitchfork officiating over the realm of the 'damned' which is a fire that cannot be quenched?  Why is this considered the personification of Evil?

Fire, like the Morning and Evening Star, once was worshipped as a God.  It was considered the ultimate Power, Pure and undefilable.  Lucifer was the 'Light-Bringer' as Prometheus who gave the power of fire to humankind, thus giving them the power to operate during the hours of darkness when otherwise they would be able to do nothing but sleep.  Fire allowed people to live in otherwise uninhabitable frozen wastelands as well.  How then did Lucifer who, like the other jinn, was made of pure, undefiled flame, become the Lord of all Evil?

Simple propaganda, so often mistaken for religion when indeed it is nothing more than a tool used by one group to gain control over the populace and wrest all power from another group.

Fire worship still is a characteristic of Zoroastrianism, an ancient Persian religion.  Fire and Water were the agents of purification and transformation.   The most ancient Fire Worship, like that of the ancient Germanic peoples, was not performed in any temple or building but in the open air.  Where the Germanic and Celtic peoples worshipped in sacred forests and groves, the Fire Worshippers gathered on mountaintops or hilltops to light bonfires.  Later, however, temples were built.

There are two different types of fires: wild and domestic.  A bonfire is a 'wild' fire, usually lit by and for the entire community.  The fire of the hearth is a domestic fire, lit and nurtured by a family.  In some religions, each is associated with a different deity but in the case of fire worshippers, both stem from the same sacred source.

In contemporary Iran, Zoroastrianism remains a vibrant faith, and one of the most famous Temples of Fire is that in Yazd where a fire has been lit continuously since 470 A.D.  Despite attempts to prohibit religious practices under Islamic governments, at least 10% of the population in Iran remain fire-worshippers.

In the old Vedic texts, Agni was the god of Fire and the Vedic poems are filled with references to him as well as the form that sacrifices should take.

To return to Lucifer and Satan, however, I believe that the Trident probably was the original form of the weapon that slew the Dragon or Sea Serpent rather than a Sword.   God only knows how long tridents were used, but they probably originally were fishing tools rather than arena weapons.  The gladiatorial pairing of Trident and Net in ancient Rome only mirrored older fishing practices.

A road development project in England near Carlisle uncovered a wooden trident.  Two wooden tridents dating back 6000 years are displayed in the Tullie Museum in Carlisle.  The tridents all were made from a single plank of mature Oak.  They are very heavy and would not have been practical either for fishing or for farming use.  They may have been ritual objects, rather like the standards carried by kings or chieftains.  At least that would be MY assumption given the fact that every trident from this period found in England to date has been almost identical and none of them would have made either good weapons or good tools.

It is not often that wooden objects of this age are found, as most deteriorate, but it makes sense that the earliest tridents would have been wooden rather than metal.  Stone would have been very difficult to shape except in the Thor's Hammer form which I believe had the same significance and function.

Acclaimed Bollywood satire, OMG, aka Oh My God

(Above: images from OMG showing Krishna playing his flute and a group of 'false' priests with priestess)

Among non-Indians, Bollywood films often are underestimated in terms of their potential to be serious potential classics.  Bollywood does not represent the sum total of all Indian film production and I am not certain if a classic like Lagaan even would be considered a Bollywood film but even that wonderful view of the tensions between British overlords and native India included many Bollywood elements, such as the song and dance routines.  OMG (Oh my God), on the other hand, IS Bolllywood without a shadow of a doubt, but it is a great film and is in fact based on a famous Gujarati play entitled 'Kanji Virudh Kanji'.

When I was a child in Nepal, my girlfriends and I would go to Kathmandu to one of the cinemas to see mainly Hindi films, as Nepalese films at that point did not exist in any quantity.  Although I did not speak Hindi, the language was similar enough that I could follow most of the plot and dialogues.  Later, after my University days, I had forgotten most of my Nepali but I introduced a good friend to the wonders of Indian cinema and spicy snacks by taking her with me to the Indian cinemas in Whitechapel in London.  It was a little more difficult to follow the dialogues but simply being there, munching on fried dhal and other savouries never found in Western cinemas took me back to my childhood and satisfied an emotional longing to return.

Now that we have Netflix, Amazon and Ebay, I probably could watch Hindi films constantly but do not have a taste for it most of the time.  I suddenly remembered, however, that some of the films do feature appearances by the various Hindu gods and goddesses and found one on Netflix entitled 'OMG' that gave Krishna a  major role.

It is a very compelling film in its way, whether or not you are Hindu.  It basically satirises and criticises the entire 'business' and 'trade' of religion and includes cameo appearances by Christian and Islamic clerics in a role as defendants in a law suit against God.

Essentially the plot revolves round the legal concept of the 'act of God' for which special insurance must be paid if a person whose property is damaged wishes to collect any compensation.  A man who owned a religious items shop was the only person to suffer damage in an earthquake after he made some derogatory comments about the gods and disrupted a festival.  He attempted to collect from his insurance company only to be told that 'acts of Gods' were not covered.

He then decided that his only recourse would be to take God to court.  It is cleverly written and quite interesting.  It is very characteristic of Indian cinema but embraces concepts that are universal.  Krishna when he appears does not do so in traditional majestic garb and symbols but is a young man wearing shades who rides a very cool motorbike.  The only symbol he carries is a set of keys to the motorbike with a single peacock feather that he swings constantly round his finger.  Clever modern variation on traditional Krishna symbolism.

In any event, I do not wish to ruin the film by telling the entire story here, but I recommend it to all audiences.  It was both amusing and thought-provoking.  My personal interest in the film initially was to remind myself of the traditions of Hindu festivals but I was delighted to find that the scope of this film went far beyond rituals of butter and milk offerings and snake dances.

When the film begins, Kanji basically is an atheist entrepreneur who manipulates his customers into believing that the gods have spoken to him to advise them to purchase a particular statue or relic.  He has no qualms whatsoever about fabricating tales in order to make a sale, and yet he expects a much higher standard of behaviour from the religious men who run the temples, churches and mosques.  For the most part, they are hypocrites who engineer their own minor 'miracles' and messages from the gods to make a profit for themselves.

What is interesting here is the fact that Kanji, from being a jaded atheist actually develops a profound faith in God by the end of the film, thanks to the intervention of Krishna and moreover, in his quest for justice, takes the followers of other religions under his wing, as it were, to demand answers from 'God' across the board, whether he/she goes by the name of Shiva, Brahma, Allah, or Christ.  Many of his arguments are practical.  Why take milk to the temple to offer it to a statue who cannot drink it when the precinct in front of the temple is packed with starving beggars who are denied entrance?  Rather than allowing the milk to run down the gutters wastefully, give it to the thirsty in the name of God.  Simple solutions that are embraced in the maxim to 'Love thy neighbour' in any religion.

I am not well-versed enough in the different Hindu sects to have been able to identify each and every one of the religious figures who are denounced by Kanji in court, but I wish I were!  In particular, I found the long-haired priest very interesting, as he appeared to assume a ritual position with one arm held crooked in front of his face.  This may be a reference to the devotees of Shiva who took a vow to keep one armed raised for years in renunciation of earthly matters, or it may have a more specialised significance.  Amar Bharati, a Shiva devotee, has kept his arm raised for over 38 years and now could not do anything else with it if he wished, unless Shiva himself were to intervene.

I could be mistaken about the long-haired priest as a devotee of Shiva.  I will do more research on the subject but he certainly resembles the devotees of Shiva more than any other individual in the film.  What does the hand position signify?  That is my question!

Shiva probably is the oldest of the gods that have been gathered together under the umbrella of 'Hinduism'.  It is said that Hinduism is an artificial British-created name for a multitude of different local religions and practices.  Certainly most of the Gods and Goddesses that are brought together under the name had their own local traditions throughout the ages and throughout different parts of India.

Shiva, however, is the ancient Pashupati, 'Lord of the Animals' and there is a seal from Mohendaro that is believed to be one of the earliest depictions of this god.  He is associated with Rudra, the ancient storm god and indeed, with his Trident, can be found throughout the world in different cultures and civilisations as the ancient Storm God.  As such, he would be associated with Ba'al of Canaan and every other ancient 'Sky' God, at war perpetually with the Earth God Mot.

His second consort was the daughter of the Himalayas, Parvati.   Her prior incarnation was Sati, who immolated herself because of her father's opposition to her marriage to Shiva..  Consumed with grief over her death, he retreated to a cave in the Himalayas.  The goddess Parvati, daughter of the Himalayas, practiced years of austerities in her attempt to win his heart.  He finally realised she was the incarnation of his beloved Sati and accepted her love.   Shiva therefore is very much associated with Nepal.  Some traditions consider Nepal his birthplace.

Shiva is a god of many conflicting aspects.  He is both the 'wild man' and the devoted head of his household, two roles that usually do not coincide in Hindu life.  The fact that Parvati had to practice austerities for years in order to win his affection probably signifies an ancient association between Shiva and the life of the hermit, the unstructured, undomestic aspect of this god who is after all, the god of total annihilation in one of his roles.  Annihilation obviously is the prerequisite for creation of a new world or new order.  Transformation always is preceded by death or a radical change.

The marriage between Parvati and Shiva denotes harmony between Matter and Spirit, a necessity in the smooth running of this world.  In the Hindu traditions, each God or Goddess possesses different avatars, assuming different roles depending on the time and place.  In a sense, this is more logical than the appearance of Jesus Christ in Christianity as a single individual at one specific time and place.  In the Hindu tradition, Jesus Christ would be one of the avatars of an existing deity, sent to perform a specific task but without limiting the ability of the deity to return in another guise.  Yes, there is the 'Second Coming' but that is quite a different matter.

One of the ironies of the success of OMG is that, despite the fact that one of the messages of Lord Krishna is that devotees should be free from fear and their reliance on symbols, a keychain resembling the one he twirled in the film is being sold in great quantities:

The other photograph shown below is of the 'Go Govinda ritual dance' from the film.

Lord Shiva, Bhairab, Lord of the Dance and God from Nepal

(The images shown above all represent Lord Shiva in his aspect as Bhairava or Bhairab.   The first is included because it shows the temple AFTER the big Earthquake. The last one is of the mural at the Temple of Chandeshwari)

Lord Shiva is extremely popular in Nepal and traditions state that he was born in Nepal.  His Festival is attended by millions who flock to Kathmandu from other parts of the land, India and other nations each year.  The usual ban on cannabis is lifted and intoxication, one the gifts of the God, is allowed to take possession of his devotees.

I think it is vital to be able to lose control once in awhile, to surrender the iron will that often imprisons us in the confines of our own minds, our anxieties and terrors.  Unfortunately, loss of control is terrifying in itself.  Whether a person simply is afraid of embarrassing or shaming himself or herself or afraid of losing his or her mind permanently, many of us cannot take the leap into the abyss, especially as we grow older.  There was a time when I feared nothing.  Now Fear is almost a constant companion, nipping at my heels, along with self-doubt and all the other enemies of courage that drag us down and hold us prisoner in our lives.  There is a need for Order and for common sense and everything else that keeps our lives running, but at the same time, it is only the very brave who are given glimpses of other realities and other worlds.

From my earliest childhood, I knew a deep desire to experience other realities and other worlds.  I believed that there was an unseen reality that was possibly as important as the one we could see and touch on a daily basis.  Dreams were my path to other realities and I still have very vivid dreams that actually connect to dreams from the past, of cities and people I never met or knew in this reality, but have become invested with their own 'dream' memories through the years.

Shiva is one of the most terrifying of the Gods, willing to rip aside all of the little safety measures we have placed round us, and all of our protective clothing and accoutrements.  Lord Shiva is the naked face of power.  Durga has the same function and power.  Nepal honours both.

It is Shiva in his aspect as Bhairab who terrified me as a child in Nepal.  I had nightmares about those masques that one sees everywhere.  I still find it difficult to look even at a photograph of Bhairab without trembling but this makes me aware of the need to obtain one and hang it in front of my bed where I am forced to confront it upon waking and communicate with it.  One of my daughter's mantras is 'Conquer your fears' and I salute her for it and aspire to do the same in my life, even as it grows increasingly difficult.  I yearn for FREEDOM from physical disability and lack of money and all the other earthly difficulties in my path and yet, if I were to be freed from FEAR, all of the rest would become trivial.

One of the most powerful symbols of Shiva is the Trisul or Trident.  Interestingly enough, it is the national symbol of the Ukraine as well.  It is a most ancient symbol, that three-pronged spearhead and is found throughout the ancient world, whether in the hands of the sea god Poseidon or in that of the Thunder God.

Below is the photograph of an Iron Trisul, Trident of Lord Shiva from Nepal.  What makes this one particularly of interest is the double axe motif or 'butterfly' beneath the trident.  The triangle in itself is a very potent symbol and one used prolifically by the Nepalese throughout their long history.  It can symbolise many different things, including the opening to the womb of the God or female.  The double axe was a symbol of ancient Crete, among others.  The trident actually was adopted by Christianity in the form of the Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

I have included photographs of Thor's Hammer Mjolnir and the Ukrainian Trident as well.

Lord Shiva's Trisul

As you can see, the two ancient Western symbols of the Sky God are very stylised.  The Ukrainian symbol almost suggests a spear with wings, which is the symbol of Odhinn in the form of the Spear Gungnir that always returns to his hand.  The Ukrainian symbol is known as the Tryzub.

The origins of the Tryzub have been explained in many different ways but the consensus of opinion now is that it originally represented an anchor, a symbol found in Hindu tradition as well.  Going back to the association of the Sky or Thunder God with the Sea and his victory over the serpent, it makes sense that the weapon he wields would be based on an anchor.  Other theories promote a bird of prey, the gyrfalcon as the original symbol or a cross within a trident, but both Mjolnir and the Trysub do resemble an anchor in form.  The Tryzub, like Thor's Hammer definitely is a pre-Christian potent amulet.

In Eastern Europe, many amulets of anchors have been discovered from cultures that far predate the advent of Christianity.

Poseidon, the Greek God of the Sea, had the trident as his symbol, of course, and his weapon could cause earthquakes and tsunamis.

A few days later:  For all my research and years of working with symbols, the most obvious correspondence here eluded me completely:  The Trident of Shiva is the Pitchfork of the Devil of the West!  Lucifer, Star of the Morning, most powerful and beautiful of the Angels, predates the Christ and certainly is older than humankind.  In Islamic tradition, his name is Iblis and Allah after creating humans, ordered his favourite to prostrate himself (perform sajeda or ritual worship/respect) to Adam, the first of men.  Iblis refused, declaring that he and his race of Jinn were superior to humans as they were created from pure fire and humans were created from clay.  Thus was he cast forth from Paradise for his pride. 

Here we have many ancient powers translated to fit into biblical lore.  Fire is one of the most ancient of Gods in all traditions.  In India, it was Agni.  In Persia, Fire was worshipped for thousands of years and still is by some.  Clay is of Earth but according to ancient Mesopotamian myth, mankind was created from clay in order to be the servants of the Gods, no more and no less.  The race of Jinn, on the other hand, were sublime in their creation and were more than slaves.

So Lucifer, the Morning Star, is cast forth and becomes the ruler of the damned in Christianity, taking the name of Satan or in Arabic, Shaitan.  In medieval iconography, he is often depicted with the head and tail of a Goat.  Remember that Daksha, ancient Indian God who predated Shiva and whose daughter Sati was Shiva's first wife, had his head struck off and replaced with the head of a Goat.  His sin was one of pride as well.  He believed that his daughter deserved better than marriage to a god who had no dignity and lived a horrible life in the cremation grounds, unkempt and dirty.

He offered free choice of marriage partner to his daughter but, like the King in Sleeping Beauty, invited every one BUT Shiva.  Sati throws her marriage garland into the air, declaring it is for Shiva alone and the God appears with the garland round his neck.  Sati leaves with her husband and they live together happily.

Daksha cannot forget his hatred of Shiva, however and announces he will make the Great Horse Sacrifice, inviting ALL the Gods except, once again, Shiva.  Sati tells her husband she needs no invitation to attend her father's festival but Shiva warns her against the journey.  She goes, nevertheless and when no portion of the sacrifice is offered to Shiva, is heartbroken and furious by the insult to her spouse.  She tells her father that all but he adore and worship her Lord Shiva and that the only way for her to counter his insult to her Lord is to surrender her own life.  She throws herself into the Sacred Fire and dies.

Shiva in fury creates a demon from a lock of his hair who assaults Daksha and takes off his head.  After this, however, Shiva informs the other gods that Daksha was but an ignorant child and that he will restore life to him.  The head of Daksha was consumed by funeral flame and the god therefore replaces the human head with that of a Goat.

Shiva then strides across the earth with the body of his beloved Sati on his back or across his shoulders.  The Earth mourns with him.  All the crops and plants wither and nothing is nourished until Vishnu, to prevent total destruction of the Earth, hurls his discus at the corpse again and again, cutting it into 52 pieces.  Each piece drops to the ground at a different location and there rest forevermore.  Temples are built on each spot where a piece of the body of Sati rests.

Here then we have a tale that embodies many of the ancient themes of Sacrifice.  First there is the Sacrifice by Fire.  Then there is the cutting up of the body and the sowing of it in the Earth to return Life to the Earth.
Shiva's desolate journey of mourning is similar to that of the Great Goddess Demeter.  The Sacrifice of Sati is not that different from the ancient offerings of Virgin Goddesses, the daughters of Kings to appease a Monster or ancient god who was threatening or ravaging the kingdom.  One thinks of Andromeda and the Sea Serpent as one such Sacrifice.  The Sea Serpent of course is none other than that most ancient of Gods, Yamm,

The voluntary sacrifice of life by a wife later became enshrined in the practice of suttee in India wherein a widow would join her dead husband on the funeral pyre.  This is not a practice that is unique to India.  In ancient Germany and the Northern lands, a King or chieftain in death would be accompanied not only by his favourite horse and dogs but by his wife or wives and slave girls.  They would take or be given poison often before their throats were cut and then the entire grave (often a ship) would be consigned to the sacred flames.

Shiva mourns the death of his beloved Sati for a long time and shuts himself away in his abode in the Himalayas.  It is only when the spirit of Sati appears to him, promising to return in the form of the daughter of the Himalayas that he returns to the world.  In her second manifestation, Sati is Parvati or Uma.

This has little to do with the Trident as the symbol of Lord Shiva or the god-headed elder god as the father of his first wife, Sati, apart from the fact that often myths become muddled when they are taken abroad as well as by journeying through time, especially in ancient oral traditions.  Whatever the journey or mutations, there is no doubt whatsoever that the goat-headed Devil of Christianity who wields a three-pronged Pitchfork originally was a God.

The goat-headed One with the three-pronged Pitchwork remained a god in the West in Pagan Witches' rites.  There is the deity Baphomet, depicted sometimes with the head of a goat, although apparently the original Templars' Baphomet had little in common with the pagan deity later worshipped by the Witches and their Covens.  There is an association, far more ancient between Dionysus and the Goat.  Dionysus often was portrayed both as Bull and Goat.  Pan was depicted as part-human, part-goat as were the Satyrs.   They were not evil but were simply spirits of the vegetation, of leaf and grain, of field and forest and in particular, of the grapevine.  In ancient Canaan, there were servants of the gods in charge of the grapevines.  I have to look up the passage in the old epic that deals with them.

The Sukunda and the Karuwa in Newari Sacred Traditions

Where does the sacred end and the profane begin?  It was difficult to tell often in Nepal, where ancient traditions were so much a part of daily life and rituals often were intermingled with practical actions.

When I visited my friends, the family home always contained a Karuwa water pot.  These vessels have a shape that I never saw anywhere else in the world but are very practical in terms of preventing silt and mud from any water source from being poured when the vessel is used.  The spout is in a position that keeps any impurities at the very bottom of the pot.  When my friends and I drank from it, we never allowed the spout to touch our lips.  In fact, it was a sort of accomplishment when I learned how to pour the water from a position that was about twelve inches from my mouth without spilling or causing an embarrassing mess!

The Sukunda lamp is a ritual item that is used in many processions and festivals as well as performance of puja but again, I saw these beautiful lamps lit on a regular basis in some homes.  Traditionally, mustard oil was used in the Sukunda by Newar families, but butter or ghee or indeed any sort of oil can be used instead.  I myself like butter or ghee because it does not leave the same heavy dark tar that mustard oil tends to leave behind.  It is easy to wipe the residue of ghee or butter from the dish, but it is very difficult to clean the remnants of burnt mustard oil.

People speak of the Sukunda and Karuwa as Buddhist but Buddhism and Hinduism to me are intertwined in Nepal and when Ganesh has place of honour on almost every Sukunda lamp, is that not recognition of a popular Hindu God?

Most old Sukunda lamps show at least some traces of red powder from puja rites.  The red powder is called kum kum powder and is used to bless not only sacred objects but people as well.  When I went with my girlfrineds to the local temple in the morning, we would be anointed with a 'tika' of the red powder.  Married women I believe often have the powder placed in the part in their hair rather than the centre of the forehead.

How I wish I could return to that time in my life to study everything more thoroughly!  I was a child and although rapacious always for knowledge, my opportunities were limited and any participation in local festivals and practices deeply frowned upon my my aunt and uncle.  Everything I did was done clandestinely and if caught, I paid a rather distressing price in being forced to listen to stern lectures late at night and predictions that I would be consumed by hellfire should I persist in these actions.    The whole business has given me a deep distaste for the 'private club' aspect of many religions....  I have an abiding faith and belief in the Divine but in the same way that the Romans believed that all roads led to Rome, I believe that all paths lead to God except for those actively harmful and steeped in negative actions and emotions such as hatred or envy.   It is people who corrupt religion, not God and I cannot believe that any true God, infinite and all-powerful, would have any use for petty rules and regulations or would 'play favourites', tribe against tribe, religion against religion.

Below are some more photographs of Nepalese ritual items, including Sukunda lamps both lit and unlit.  Where lit, butter is being burned.  The juxtaposition of the Nepalese items with some Ukrainian hand-carved wooden eggs and Trinity Candleabra is entirely coincidental.  No link is intended.

What is curious here is that Roman Catholics in our neighbourhood mistook the Trinity Candleabra for a Jewish menorah.  The three branches of the candleabra represent the Father, Son and Holy Spirit and have nothing whatsoever to do with Judaic beliefs or traditions and yet, neighbours walking down the road and spying it in the window during the Easter holiday period, immediately leapt to the erroneous conclusion that the household was Jewish, despite the presence of other Christian artifacts.  The man who in fact described the 'menorah' to me and asked if that were where I lived was a professor of History.  Such ignorance dismays me and yet I suppose I should not be surprised by anything in this day and age.

I expect actually that the number three and this sort of candleabra probably originated with very ancient religious practices, one of the oldest of which is the Trident.  One of the symbols of Lord Shiva is the Trident.  Similarly, it is associated with the god Poseidon.  The number five is another ancient holy number and the presence of the five naga or serpents on Sukunda lamps is not that different from the khamsa or Hand of Fatima, a popular Islamic talisman.  Nepalese Cinquefoil or 'five-finger grass', officially Potentilla Nepalensis, long has been used as a talisman as well when dried as the herb resembles a hand.  The flower has five petals but that is not the magical association at least among practitioners of herbal magick.

As far as the legends associated with the Sukunda and Karuwa are concerned, it is difficult to find anything that is universally accepted.  Many different legends exist, and most of them are from an oral rather than written source.

Sukunda means 'Beautiful Lake' and the legend is associated with Lord Buddha and the Naga.  It is said that originally the Valley of Kathmandu was a large lake inhabited by serpents.   In the very centre of the lake was an undying flame within a lotus of a thousand petals.  Buddha Mahamanjushree heard of the lake and journeyed from China to see the marvel.  With his potent magical sword, he struck the hills that surrounded the lake at the very south, draining the waters and opening the Valley to all.

The famous Stupa of Swayambhunath is believed to have been created from this magical lotus of flame.

The reservoir of the Sukunda lamp where the oil or butter is kept represents the magical lake, its mouth the unfolded lotus.  The five or seven heads of the Naga that are raised above the lamp like a parasol are the serpents vanquished by the Buddha, but at the same time, are a protective power.  The shallow dish where the wick is burned represents the flame of divinity within the Self.  That is the Buddhist meaning of the lamp.

Although the story features the Lord Buddha, the Sukunda lamp is very much involved with Hindu myths as well.  Lord Ganesh is the god who can overcome all obstacles and is the lord of prosperity.  Fire is a cleansing agent as well as a creator and destroyer.  The Garuda is the bird upon which Lord Shiva rides and is associated with the Goddess Durga as well.    The Lion is associated with the Goddess Durga and very often you will see a pair of Lions guarding the sacred flame.

As far as flames are conerned, they are very much a part of traditional Nepalese iconography and there is a very interesting symbol known as the Jwala Nhyekan which is a mirror of reflection made usually of brass or bronze.  It consists of a plain circle surrounded by stylised flames that come to a peak at the very top.  It usually includes a little stand so that it can be placed without support on an alter or wherever needed.  It is a very ancient Nepalese ritual item and is protective in nature.  Mirrors in general are ancient protective talismans that deflect evil and evil intent as well as reflecting power and positive energy.

Fire worship is one of the MOST ancient religions in the world and as Nepal is the seat of one of the most ancient civilisations, it is no wonder that flames feature in ritual objects, even if these objects later are associated with different religions and tradiitons.  It is possible that the Jwala Nhyekan has some old associations with the Sukunda legend of the lotus of a thousand flames in the centre of the sacred lake.  The round centre of the mirror could represent the sacred lake and the flames the original Lotus.

As mentioned above, Fire is an agent of purification and transformation.   Water likewise is a powerful agent both of purification and potential destruction.  Most festivals have both a water and fire component to them.

The photograph directly below is of a Jwala Nhyekan.