(Ginny by Vogue in Valentine's Day outfit)
I realised last night that the nature of the internet and gaming has changed my life where romantic holidays such as St. Valentine's Day are concerned.
When I was in my teens, St. Valentine's Day was a family festival, wherein my stepfather gave my Mum, my sister and myself beautiful Hearts filled with chocolates. My Mum received the largest and most elaborate box. My sister and I usually received smaller, identical boxes.
So we fared better than many teenage girls because the celebration of Valentine's Day did not depend on having a boyfriend and moreover a boyfriend who performed the traditional romantic actions.
Even so, I lived with an abiding and profound sense of sadness and disappointment each year, especially after I left home as a young woman. I wanted the 'hearts and flowers' so badly and seldom ever received them from the 'right' person. One of the few positive attributes of my brief marriage was the fact that he gave me flowers and chocolates and nice jewelry... along with the violence and madness. Thank God I had the sense to leave, rather than becoming a crime statistic in a sprawl of hearts and chocolates...
Now, however, I have discovered that the world of gaming allows us to experience as much traditional Victorian romance as our hearts may desire. Family Farm is filled with Victorian images of knights and ladies, hearts and lace... I adore it personally, even if the art critics decry it as saccharine.
Furthermore, the developers tend to add special free gifts to all players on festival occasions, including Valentine's Day. The IT crowd tend to understand the tristesse of social alienation and the deep sorrow of not having true romance in real life. I for one am heartily grateful. In Family Farm every year, a special gift has been offered or given and there always are Missions and activities with a special Valentine's Day theme. It is not that my own life is devoid of gifts but I remember too well what it was like when my heart was young and hopeful and I suffered through these romantic occasions while other girls strutted and bragged about their wonderful boyfriends and lovers...
The 'Harvest Moon' and 'Rune Factory' series actually include courtship and romance as one of the primary goals. You choose from a selection of eligible bachelors or girls, court and are courted, then marry and have children. You celebrate wonderful romantic festivals with your beloved each year. It is very Japanese and very romantic in a fashion that is uniquely Japanese. We have lost a little of that in the West, I fear... but thanks to the internet, can experience it as much as we like, delving as deeply as we wish into the excessive, flowery beauty of the Victorian era... for that is where St. Valentine's Day is rooted in the West.
Finally though, I would like to mention my daughter and the empowerment of women with respect to this Festival. When she was at school in her early teens, they offered roses for sale for Valentine's Day. The idea was for the boy or girl to buy for his/her intended, but many girls, including Freya, exchanged roses with their best friends. And why not?
This year, instead of accepting a date with some one she has known only for a brief time, she went out to dinner with her best friend, a girl she has known since the age of seven. Somehow, this made me very happy. It showed me that girls of this new generation have jettisoned many of the insecurities and problems relating to self-esteem that were imposed on us by a male-dominated culture. Yes, romance remains important and can be thrilling but why allow the lack of it to be a noose around the neck, especially at times like this?
There is a popular song from my mother's era entitled 'Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas'. Although I do not like the song or indeed any of the secular Christmas songs that I have heard through the years, I do applaud the concept. If your family or loved ones will not join you in the celebration of a festival or holiday that is dear to your heart, do it alone! One of the reasons I continue to create my festival displays is because it allows me to celebrate festivals that I love and deem important or magical, irrespective of the actions of others.
