Boredom, Fear and Pain

Prelude to a DVT, from 2016, never published, never completed.

One goes through so many sea changes in a situation where life has been an unending cycle of disability and increasing pain for over a decade and then finally, a solution is presented in the form of a surgicsl operation...  My problem initially was the knowledge that my situation was caused primarily by medical negligence or actual malpractice.  It did not inspire confidence in a surgical solution but the pain had become intolerable and, with a little serious thought, it was preferable to slitting my own throat.

The operation was set for 7 June... so that day loomed large on the horizon.  I wasn't quite certain how to prepare.  I bought food for the cats, prepared as much as I could in advance, tried to pack a bag... but still had no idea what would happen afterwards.  All sorts of breezy advertising such as 'you'll walk the day after the procedure' but I was not convinced.  After all, I hadn't been able to stand without help for a year, and why should the replacement of one hip improve everything immediately?

In fact, I could not stand.